I have just heard that another business run by British is closing which may or may not be due to bullying. Folks obviously might be scared of giving the real reason. On this forum I remember reading that someone has left Bulgaria due to bullying by Brits. I am using the word 'bullying' to describe in general terms the nastiness that makes someone feel they have to leave somewhere where they are otherwise happy. I know this is an emotive topic but one which might need airing. I thought that maybe it would be good to have an outlet on this forum to let people know what can happen if you fall foul, for whatever reason (if there is one) of other British immigrants. Better still, give advice on how to counteract it.

I would agree that unfortunately there does seem to be something going on amongst some expats which could only be discribed as bullying. We have "
helpfully"
been told where we should shop who we should speak to etc.. I have even been ignored by local english people only to be gushed over when some one else points out im english. Personnally I dont see why anyone should feel the need to suddenly be my friend because of my nationality if they didnt want to know my personality. Lol. Also in our village I have witnessed awful behaviour from one couple who moved to the village after another couple and set up the same buisness in competition, then tried lots of nasty intimerdating methods of trying to make them give up.
I hope more people stand up for the ones being bullied and dont get sucked into bullying anyone. After all the expats in bulgaria are a fairly small community and we should all help each other.

beautifulangel wrote:

I would agree that unfortunately there does seem to be something going on amongst some expats which could only be discribed as bullying. We have "
helpfully"
been told where we should shop who we should speak to etc.. I have even been ignored by local english people only to be gushed over when some one else points out im english. Personnally I dont see why anyone should feel the need to suddenly be my friend because of my nationality if they didnt want to know my personality. Lol. Also in our village I have witnessed awful behaviour from one couple who moved to the village after another couple and set up the same buisness in competition, then tried lots of nasty intimerdating methods of trying to make them give up.
I hope more people stand up for the ones being bullied and dont get sucked into bullying anyone. After all the expats in bulgaria are a fairly small community and we should all help each other.

I totally agree beautifulangel It is sad to hear that "
bullying"
not only exists by Brits in BG but is thriving. We are all a long way from home and it is essential that Brits not only get on with each other but also support them in time of need. Coping with the system and understanding the Bulgarian system and their way of life must need a fair bit of help at times. But, we are Brits and it takes all sorts to make a world and it seems that a lot of the basket cases have left the UK shores at the time as the rest of us. Turkey is no different from this point of view with Brits acting in an unhospitable way to others living over here. Of course we have to deal with the Turkish government as well and being a Republic they pull some real strokes against the Brits at times, but their chickens are coming home to roast and there is an exodus from Turkey by Brits which has been going on for over a year now.

Obviously anyone who is being bullied will be wary of writing about it on an open forum. Bullies thrive by creating fear in the minds of the victim should he speak out just as in school bullying. The bully nearly always creates a 'gang' and can appear very pleasant and friendly when it suits. For anyone who is at the mercy of someone in such a situation, do an internet search on 'adult bullying'. Its all there, from the personality types that do it to how to deal with it.
I agree Itchyfeet that the 'good, the bad and the ugly' all become expats the world over but it is doubly disturbing when it happens abroad where people often have no network of old friends and family to help and so feel isolated and untrusting of all Brits. Even if this topic does not go much further, maybe it will help someone being bullied at this moment and thinking of leaving Bulgaria where they are otherwise happy, by finding out how to deal with it and why it happens. The bullyboys often make the persecuted feel it is somehow their fault or there is something wrong with them. The truth is there is a lot wrong with the bullies.

You have a lot of this around Bulgaria , you get it on the Internet as well people come out with all sorts of crap . They pick on weak people because they are cowards they never pick on a guy that cant stick up for himself , not face to face that is . I have found very few Brits that i like here shame as i have some good friends in England . I have only one English friend but a lot of Bulgarian ones could be because i dont buy from the British expat , need to buy English food , or pay over the top prises to eat it in a English run grease spoon . As well as not feeling the need to drink much or smoke . I see very few Brits when i go out and dont feel the need to get involved with them .

Hi, I know a few that this has happened too and we are waiting for someone/anyone to try to start on us, but as has been pointed out bullies don't tend to pick on those that can and will stick up for themselves, only the ones that they feel they can beat down.

When it comes to business please remember that the laws here ARE the same as in the UK. So, firstly make sure your house is in order, if it is, go straight to a lawyer and name them and have them investigated. This is not tit for tat, just a fact that quite a few of these bullies do it because they are NOT legal and want a slice of a cake they haven't worked for. This is not a playground this is your life... NAME them, forget about those that say its wrong....... IT ISN'T there is NEVER an excuse for bad behavior of any kind. Keep to facts not gossip. Write everything down and have as many witnesses as you can find, the more you talk about it the less intimidating it will seem and the more likely others will also come forward. The British are very good at playing mum at the wrong times. Then love to gossip at the wrong times.......

Talk to your major, its is part of his job to sort out disputes if it is a local one. Talk to the police and find out what they can or can't do or what evidence they would need. If you have nothing to hide you have nothing to fear..

REMEMBER: IF THIS PERSON DOES ANYTHING TO YOU IN BULGARIA THAT IS ILLEGAL IN THE UK, YOU CAN PROSECUTE THEM UNDER BRITISH LAW. FILE IT WITH A UK LAWYER AND THEY WILL GET A VERY NASTY SHOCK ON THEIR NEXT TRIP THE UK AND NOT BE ALLOWED TO RETURN TO BULGARIA.....

NEVER LET PRIDE GET IN THE WAY OF JUSTICE................

and if all else fails, I have a lovely castrator to hand that will turn most men into gibbering, dribbling wrecks.... without the need for words

Excellent and helpful reply Seven. I do believe you are right that some British people run illegal businesses and that could be the root cause of bullying someone who is trying to set up a legal business. It is also true that bullies pick on the weak. If the bullied have done nothing wrong they have nothing to fear and should speak out but it can be very difficult. Bullies tend to cover their tracks so it might be difficult to go to the law, though I am sure Bulgaria would not like its reputation sullied by bullying Brits.

There are a number of types of bullying and as my family and I have been victims of cruel and unjust treatment over the last two years I thought I would share with you all the pro's and con's of Cyber bullying

Cyber Bullying

In Our Connected Digital Age Bullies Have a New Weapon With Which to Torment Their Targets

Home sweet home is no longer a sanctuary into which victims of bullying can escape their tormentors. Bullies can now stalk their prey on the internet

Social isolation, public humiliation and malicious gossip have long been the stock in trade of bullies. With the the advent of modern communications such as email, chat, text messaging and cell phones as well as the ability to publish online on websites, blogs and social networking sites such as Facebook and MySpace making their message instantly available to millions, the bully's reach and powers of social manipulation have been increased exponentially.

Definition:
Cyberbullying involves the use of information and communication technologies such as e-mail, cell phone and pager text messages, instant messaging (IM), defamatory personal Web sites, and defamatory online personal polling Web sites, to support deliberate, repeated, and hostile behaviour by an individual or group, that is intended to harm others

"
Bullycide"
is the term that has been used to describe suicides caused by relentless bullying. "
Cyberbullycide"
, to coin a phrase, would describe someone driven to suicide following a cyberbullying attack.

A bully doesn’t have to be eye to eye to bully someone. Sometimes he or she gets into cyberspace, and then there’s no place to hide from their torment.

Cyber bullies, like any bully, want to feel power and control over their victim. They want to get under their victim's skin. Many kids live and breathe the internet. It is essential to how they see themselves and how they socialise with their peers. The computer is as essential a social tool today as the telephone was decades ago.

This is part of why a cyber bullying attack can be so devastating. Cyber bullies cut to the core of their victim's social life and self image. Targets are faced with threats and intimidation in emails and instant messages, but it is not only fear that the cyber bully can instill over the web.

The potential for public humiliation has been expanded from a target to effectively the entire world, or at least the wired world. Cyberbullies have created websites dedicated to insulting, mocking and humiliating their prey in the most vicious way possible. To be humiliated is bad enough but to be humiliated for the amusement of thousands is more than most of us can bear.

The target becomes humilated and angry as word is spread at the speed of light over broadband connections about the latest humiliating website update, blog post or video upload.

It's not good enough anymore for bullies to simply beat up their victims. With digital video becoming ubiquitous beatings are now digitally recorded and uploaded so everyone can have a front row seat and the bloodlust can be enjoyed again and again.

How can cyber bullies be so heartless? Perhaps the internet lends itself to this indifference. Bullies don't have to see their victims or answer for their actions. Like the cowards they are they hide behind many different aliases on their computers - behind a veil of anonymity.

How to Deal With Cyber Bullying
So what should you do to deal with cyber bullying?
How do you stop cyber bullying?

First, Do Not Respond to the Cyber Bully's Attacks
The first step is to stop responding to the cyber bully. Do not reply to emails, posts, IM's or text messages. This is what the bully wants. They want you to engage with them. They want to manipulate you into responding.

If you respond in any way that is emotional or lets them know that they are getting to you and are able to make you upset it only encourages the cyber bully.

Remember, bullies often suffer from low self-esteem and they want to feel better about themselves. Instead of doing something positive or succeeding at something or making a new friend a bully has learned to make themselves feel better by controlling, abusing and tearing down others. This gives them a sense of control and power they don't have in their lives. Most bullies are actually quite weak and the same is true of cyber bullies.

If you respond in a way that lets the bully know that you are angry, upset or afraid they will only be happy because they have managed to control your emotional state. Even if you do feel like that don't give the cyber bully the satisfaction and encouragement by letting them know.
It is especially important to not respond emotionally because this could make you send a reply that you might regret later. Messages sent on the internet are almost impossible to take back. If you lash back in anger you could find yourself the one who is being accused of being a cyber bully and the tables could be turned against you.

Bullies are hoping to get you upset so you slip up and make a mistake. Don't send flames and don't get into flame wars. (Flames are nasty, sometimes threatening emails.)

Don't Delete Information Related to the Cyber BullyingWhile you should not respond to the cyber bully online (or offline) you should also not delete their messages. That's right, do NOT delete their messages.

Cyber bullies are especially cowardly and like to hide behind the anonymity that the internet gives them. Or does it? Messages sent on the internet are traceable. Make sure to keep all messages as the police will be able to use this information to track down the culprit. Do not delete any messages and save as much information you can about chats, IM's, text messages, blog posts, websites, etc.

This will also help show just how often the cyber bullying takes place, at what times and even from which location. Every computer, server and device connected over the (TCP/IP) network has a unique IP (Internet Protocol) address. Police along with the cyber bully's ISP (Internet Service Provider) can use this information to trace the bully right to his or her house.

Report the Cyber Bulling to ISP, and Police
You need to let appropriate authorities know about the cyber bullying or they cannot take corrective action. Cyberbullying is not something you want to ignore. It is your responsibility to report this behavior so the perpetrators can be dealt with.

Bullies often behave in a serial fashion attacking multiple victims either at the same time or one after another. Once the high of abusing one victim is over they move to their next prey.

Report cyber bullying to your internet, instant messaging or mobile phone provider.

While some providers may not take swift action it is still important to establish that incidents of cyberbullying are taking place and that it has been recorded as a complaint. This will provide greater impetus for them to take cyberbullying more seriously if further reports are made or others complain about the same person.

Report cyber bullying to the local police.
Let the police know what is happening. Depending on the actions taken by the cyber bully they may have crossed the line. Laws regarding bullying and cyber bullying are finally being passed.

While bullies may have had a free ride up until now they are more and more running into the long arm of the law. Cyber bullying needs to be brought to the attention of the police. Be sure to provide them with as much information as you can. They can then contact the cyber bully's ISP and track them down
Keep all cyber bullying messages as exhibits to the police

Willowsend writes:- To anybody who has been subjected to this distasteful and disgusting way of bullying by cowards. I hope you will find the information as useful as we did

its a shame we can't post this conversation on a few other forums as i can think of a few where their members are guilty of this behaviour.
Following a recent trip to the london bulgarian embassey where I had the misfortune of queing next to a really obnoxious couple, I would like to add a few more thoughts. A) because we are british, we are not sheep, we do not require anyone to tell us who to be friends with and B) the bulgarian nation appears to be full of perfectly intelligent people able to think, work, survive etc as well if not better than me. I am sure they are not pets, they do not require patronising.
I am not prepared to name names as that would make me as bad but I am sure if you live in the yambol district you are likely to have encountered the superior attitude of a few who are in no position to think they are better than anyone else.
If any members are on the recieving end of bullying. Please take heart there are lots of nice members on here and lots of nice people in bulgaria. Stand your ground and don't let a minority take away your dream. If more people refuse to condone or participate in the gossiping then hopefully the bullies will lose their power to intimidate.

beautifulangel wrote:

its a shame we can't post this conversation on a few other forums as i can think of a few where their members are guilty of this behaviour.
Following a recent trip to the london bulgarian embassey where I had the misfortune of queing next to a really obnoxious couple, I would like to add a few more thoughts. A) because we are british, we are not sheep, we do not require anyone to tell us who to be friends with and B) the bulgarian nation appears to be full of perfectly intelligent people able to think, work, survive etc as well if not better than me. I am sure they are not pets, they do not require patronising.
I am not prepared to name names as that would make me as bad but I am sure if you live in the yambol district you are likely to have encountered the superior attitude of a few who are in no position to think they are better than anyone else.
If any members are on the recieving end of bullying. Please take heart there are lots of nice members on here and lots of nice people in bulgaria. Stand your ground and don't let a minority take away your dream. If more people refuse to condone or participate in the gossiping then hopefully the bullies will lose their power to intimidate.

beautifulangel, You say I am not prepared to name names if you did it/they would be deleted for fear of libel action
Bully's are not only good at targeting you but they are also good at turning the situation round and trying to make you the guilty party :twisted:
I have even had a situation where a perpetrator/alias tried to get me arrested in Bulgaria and the UK for harrassment and I didn't even respond to the threatening, vile emails and telephone messages I and my family have received, and most of these have come in since we won our court case to get our villa back, so what does that tell you. Most of these sort of perpetrators are, or will be banned from various forums any way :evil:

Willowsend - You should be applauded for your tenacity. I find it so hard to understand how people can be so unkind but through reading a lot recently it is becoming clearer and as I read the newspapers, I shouldn't be so naive as to think everyone you meet is a nice person. This is a hard lesson to learn, at least for me.

Willowsend, I have always admired how you will not be beaten on your stand, I am sure that somedays you must feel is this worth it, but I know that you will continue to get justice. Bullying is a horrible thing and I always feel that people who do these are cowards really, as it is always done with a back up of people, or the ones that do it hidden behind a wall of a forum or on the telephone.

Seven you are correct if you are in business, as long as you are legal you have nothing to fear, there are a lot of people working in Bulgaria that are not legal, and I am sure that one day they will be found out. My concern is for the people that do not know that they are not legal, i.e. people who offer airport transfers in there own car etc cheaper than legal companies, what would happen if they have an accident??? the reason that they are cheaper is because they are not legal.

If you are in business regarding where you are in the world there is always be some sort of bitterness from people, I am afraid that is human nature. But I do find it hard to understand why people have to try to discredit companies on forums. In some cases as with Willowsend yes that should be heard by people, but there are a lot of people who post things that are not true.

Falling out within areas of where this a population of British people is also common it seems, if you dont mix with the people of that area then you are in the wrong, if you do mix then it seems that you can fall prey to maybe not getting on with some of them, its a catch 22 situation really. There are some genuine people out there and when the chips are down you will find who these people are. Bullies have to be stood up to, and at the end of the day these are the sad people.

What a we calling illegal here , a little bit of gardening a little bit of B AND B all cash in your hand wink wink , or having a Bentley and registering it as a delivery van .

I am not here to say, it is up to the person who is working to decide that, a regular income in my eyes means that you should be declaring what you are earning.

Do you know a Bulgarian that declares what he earns ? do you know a Brit that declares what he earns in the UK let alone in Bulgaria , lets start with MPS and go down the line from there . It just dont work does it ? . As for Bullying just give em a slap . This is Bulgaria they dont only launder money here they iron it as well .