British men have obstructed views



The UK now produces the biggest fatties in the EU. That's official, according to the findings of an Organisation for Economic Co-operation and Development (OECD) survey, quoted on the BBC.

Those of us who frequent southern European beaches in the summer and long since suspected that too many Brits have figures resembling sacks of potatoes have been vindicated.

Bad diet, a generally indolent lifestyle and a prodigious intake of amber nectar mean that five million British men are now so fat that they they can no longer see their genitals. The secret? Special heart attack on a plate breakfasts, cholesterol-ridden fry-ups and, of course, the ubiquitous chip dishes, admittedly with subtle variations – chips with mayonnaise, chips with ketchup or chips with salt and vinegar.

A staggering 24.5 per cent of UK adults are now classed as obese, followed by Ireland with 23 per cent, and Malta with 22.3 per cent. Perhaps surprisingly, Iceland also registers in the fat league at 20.1 per cent, the delectable Asdis Ran being a notable exception, of course.

Those of us who also suspected that Bulgarian women are comparatively sylph-like – curvaceous figures, long necks and ultra-thin waists – were also right all along. In Bulgaria, only 11.5 percent of people are fat. And one suspects that most of those are probably male police officers. This is well below the EU average of 15.5 per cent but significantly above the slimmest nation in the EU, Romania at 7.9 per cent. Greece seems to be developing a dangerous tendency towards obesity, with 18.1 per cent coming in at fat.

"
Currently, one in seven children in the EU are overweight or obese – and the figures are set to rise even further,"
says the BBC.

The story also says that "
nutritionists are warning that many Africans are putting their health at risk because they are not eating enough fruit and vegetables"
.

Many Brits, judging by the eating habits of schoolchildren – invariably balanced with a packet of crisps in one hand and a newspaper cone of fatty chips in the other – are, of course, still oblivious to the exact nature of fruit. Apples are either green or red, bananas are yellow and oranges are...orange. Happily, all these are available in Sofia. You heard it here first.

Apparently the Australians figure high on the fat list as well, Quantas Airlines have had trials with the seating in their new planes, the seats are a good deal bigger than the norm. This is an effortive to accommodate the portly bodies of some of their inhabitants. Maybe Roo is fattening, who can tell, or maybe the constant sun makes everything swell up way past it's normal size.

Why should males have trouble seeing their tackle. I thought that mirrors had been invented