This is so True of our Government

Good Day and welcome to a brand new edition of

'ASYLUM'.

Today's program features another chance to take part in our exciting
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Nice one Sarah :hilarious: :hilarious: :hilarious: :Funny: :Funny:

I liked that,
Is so very true of the UK now and how to get to live there. Now I remember why I wanted to leave there.

Best to all,

So typical of the uk :lol:

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a 'gripe
sheet,' which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The
mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form,
and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never
let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humour. Here are
some actual maintenance complaints submitted by the Qantas' pilots
(marked with a "
P"
), and the solutions recorded by maintenance
engineers (marked with an "
S"
).

(By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never, ever,
had a crash.)


P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft...

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order. (I love this one)

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200ft per min descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny. (love this one too!!)
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

And the best one for last...................

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel.. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Nice one Cumbrian that was so funny I nearly fell of my seat keep em coming kid :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Hi Cumbrian,

I loved that as well, if you have any more I'd love to see them, I like to get up in the morning and read something that makes me laugh, better than sitting here in a panic attack.


Well done, keep them coming for me and morning reading,

Best to all

Have a look at this one, hope you find it amusing.

[url=http:
//www.
drbukk.
com/gmhom/park:2b1ac0il][You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Hi Cumbrian your link don't work mate :roll:

OK, try this

[url=http:
//www.
:11s9r3lb][You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Just tried it.
Worked OK for me.