The Government has refused proper health care to many elderly citizens
due to their advancing years. It is a worrying problem for many but
help is at hand.
Join the new free care plan today. If you are 60 years or older, you
can apply. All new members will receive a ***** and four bullets.
You are allowed to shoot one MP (two if you live in England ), one MSP,
one councillor and just to be sure of a long sentence, someone you
really don't like and think the world could do without.
As part of the plan, you will leave enough evidence to make sure of
being caught, and, in due course, sent to prison.
There you will get a safe centrally heated environment, three meals a
day, lots of company, free TV and an assortment of games, plus - most
importantly - all the health care you need!
New teeth needed? No problem.
New glasses? They'll be provided.
New hip, knees, kidney, lung, heart?* They're all covered too.
And who will pay for all of this? The same government that told you
they cannot afford your current health care.
And as an added bonus, because you are a prisoner, you don't have to
pay income tax anymore.
Britain . A GREAT country or what?
*Restrictions may apply. If you get terminal prostate cancer, you may
be released and flown to a far off, sunny country, where you can live a
bit longer with your friends and family. This is known as the
Abdelbaset Ali al-Megrahi clause.