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oddball
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PostSubject: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive   This is so funny some of the content may be offensive - Page 7 Icon_minitimeSun Mar 17, 2013 1:26 pm

First topic message reminder :

Ok Willow here you go!

Gardening made easy!
An old man living alone in South Armagh,
whose only son was in Long Kesh Prison,
didn't have anyone to dig his garden for his potatoes.
So he wrote to his son about his predicament.
The son sent the reply, "
For HEAVENS SAKE,
don't dig the garden up, that's where I buried
the guns!!!!!"

At 3 AM the next morning, a dozen British soldiers
turned up and dug the garden for 3 hours,
but didn't find any guns.
Confused, the man wrote to his son telling him
what had happened, asking him what he should do now?
The son sent the reply: "
NOW plant the potatoes!"

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oddball
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PostSubject: Re: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive   This is so funny some of the content may be offensive - Page 7 Icon_minitimeTue Dec 01, 2015 11:03 am

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
La La La La La

Nearly fell off my chair!!!

Both good eh!! This is so funny some of the content may be offensive - Page 7 2706089290

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justbazz
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PostSubject: subject   This is so funny some of the content may be offensive - Page 7 Icon_minitimeWed Dec 23, 2015 3:27 pm

Old lady went into a general store and asked for a can of cat food...sales girl asked the old lady if she could prove that she had a cat.
Why should I have to do that, she asked....because old people often buy it to eat it themselves and that's against the rules.

Lady went home, fetched her cat and returned to the store...went home with her cat and a can of cat food.



A few days later, the old lady returned to the same shop and asked for a can of dog food...same answer, same actions...went home again with her dog and a can of dog food.


A week or so later, same old lady, same store...this time she had a small box with a hole in the top...she told the sales girl to stick her finger in the hole...No, she replied, you might have a snake in there, or something which would bite me! Trust me, said the old lady, this won't hurt at all.


Finger went in, finger came out...sales girl says this smells like poo!!

It IS poo was the reply...I need a roll of toilet paper and I knew you would ask for proof.


Motto of the story....




Don't mess with us old people!
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oddball
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PostSubject: Re: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive   This is so funny some of the content may be offensive - Page 7 Icon_minitimeFri Jan 08, 2016 8:28 am

Yes I can relate to this as I have my very own grump here hahahha

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nu2bg
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PostSubject: Re: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive   This is so funny some of the content may be offensive - Page 7 Icon_minitimeSat Jan 09, 2016 9:39 pm

A young man named Chuck bought a horse from a farmer for £250. The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day. The next day, the farmer drove up to Chucks house and said, ‘Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.’
Chuck replied, ‘Well, then just give me my money back.’
The farmer said, ‘Can’t do that. I went and spent it already.’
Chuck said, ‘Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse.’
The farmer asked, ‘What ya gonna do with him?
Chuck said, ‘I’m going to raffle him off.’
The farmer said, ‘You can’t raffle off a dead horse!’
Chuck said, ‘Sure I can, Watch me. I just won’t tell any body he’s dead.’
A month Later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, ‘What happened with that dead horse?’
Chuck said, ‘I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at £5 a piece and made a profit of £2495.’
The farmer said, ‘didn’t anyone complain?’
Chuck said, ‘Just the guy who won. So I gave him his £5 back.’
Chuck grew up and works now for the government.
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PostSubject: Re: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive   This is so funny some of the content may be offensive - Page 7 Icon_minitimeSat Jan 09, 2016 10:51 pm

This is so funny some of the content may be offensive - Page 7 2706089290 This is so funny some of the content may be offensive - Page 7 570106603 This is so funny some of the content may be offensive - Page 7 1865348797 This is so funny some of the content may be offensive - Page 7 1865348797 This is so funny some of the content may be offensive - Page 7 2381841692

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PostSubject: Re: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive   This is so funny some of the content may be offensive - Page 7 Icon_minitimeThu Jan 14, 2016 7:59 pm

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PostSubject: Re: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive   This is so funny some of the content may be offensive - Page 7 Icon_minitimeFri Jan 15, 2016 11:35 am

I am so very naughty I just love watching this one should be able to watch this one [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]



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PostSubject: subject   This is so funny some of the content may be offensive - Page 7 Icon_minitimeFri Jan 15, 2016 12:16 pm

g T
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PostSubject: Re: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive   This is so funny some of the content may be offensive - Page 7 Icon_minitimeThu Jan 21, 2016 4:30 pm

A couple is in bed sleeping when there's a rat-a-tat-
tat on the door.
The husband rolls over and looks at the clock, and
it's half past 3 in the morning.” I’m not getting out of
bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a
louder knock follows. So he drags himself out of
bed, goes downstairs, opens the door, and there's a
man standing there. It didn't take the homeowner
long to realize the man was drunk.
"Hi there," slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a
push?" "No, get lost. It's half past three and I was in
bed," says the man as he slams the door. He goes
back up to bed and tell his wife what happened and
she says, "That wasn't very nice of you. Remember
that night we broke down in the pouring rain on the
way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitter and you
had to knock on that man's house to get us started
again? What would have happened if he'd told us to
get lost?"
"But the guy was drunk," says the husband.
"It doesn't matter," says the wife.” He needs our
help and it would be the Christian thing to help
him." So the husband gets out of bed again, gets
dressed, and goes downstairs.
He opens the door, and not being able to see the
stranger anywhere,
He shouts, "Hey, do you still want a push?"
And he hears a voice cry out, "Yeah, please."
So, still being unable to see the stranger he shouts,
"Where are you?" The drunk replies, "Over here, on
the swing." This is so funny some of the content may be offensive - Page 7 1865348797
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justbazz
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PostSubject: subject   This is so funny some of the content may be offensive - Page 7 Icon_minitimeThu Jan 21, 2016 6:30 pm

Damn!!!!!.....just fell off the chair...again!!

La La La
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PostSubject: Re: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive   This is so funny some of the content may be offensive - Page 7 Icon_minitimeFri Jun 24, 2016 9:55 pm

THE BOTTLE OF WINE
For all of us who are married, were married, wish you were married, or wish you weren't married, this is something to smile about the next time you see a bottle of wine:
Sally was driving home from one of her business trips in Northern Arizona when she saw an elderly Navajo woman walking on the side of the road.
As the trip was a long and quiet one, she stopped the car and asked the Navajo woman if she would like a ride.
With a silent nod of thanks, the woman got into the car.
Resuming the journey, Sally tried in vain to make a bit of small talk with the Navajo woman. The old woman just sat silently, looking intently at everything she saw, studying every little detail, until she noticed a brown bag on the seat next to Sally.
'What in bag?' asked the old woman.
Sally looked down at the brown bag and said, 'It's a bottle of wine. I got it for my husband.'
The Navajo woman was silent for another moment or two. Then speaking with the quiet wisdom of an elder, she said:
'Good trade.....' La La La La

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PostSubject: Re: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive   This is so funny some of the content may be offensive - Page 7 Icon_minitimeMon Jun 27, 2016 9:34 am

very good Bernie, it's nice to see you can remember the jokes,

Man walks into a pub with a glove on one hand, (the Michael Jackson look)
another man offers to buy him a drink, and asks why the glove,
he says I looked at the weather forecast and it said it was warm on one hand and cold on the other.

ok not that good

truck driver driving along an A road in the rain, sees a hippy walking and also sees a puddle of water
he aims for the water and drenches the hippy who in turn stick 2 fingers up at him, 15 minutes later
a car over takes him the window opens and its the hippy, more fingers and shouting at the truck driver
this annoys him a bit later he sees the car with the bonnet up and stops behind him, as he comes to the front a vicar pops from under the bonnet and say thank you for stopping my son, can you take me to a garage, so on the way to the garage he sees the hippy again, and wants to run him over but says no man of the cloth, as he starts too give him a wide berth, the vicar opens the door and whacks the hippy on the head, driver says why did you do that the vicar replys well I could see you were going to miss him.

I hope this ones better.
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oddball
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PostSubject: Re: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive   This is so funny some of the content may be offensive - Page 7 Icon_minitimeMon Jun 27, 2016 10:52 am

La


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PostSubject: Re: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive   This is so funny some of the content may be offensive - Page 7 Icon_minitimeWed Jun 29, 2016 7:37 am

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La La La La La

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PostSubject: Re: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive   This is so funny some of the content may be offensive - Page 7 Icon_minitimeThu Jul 14, 2016 12:39 pm

A funny by the late Ronnie Corbett

A new bra has been brought out for ladies, it's the sheep dog bra
It rounds them up and points them in the right direction :Fantastic: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive - Page 7 2706089290
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PostSubject: Re: This is so funny some of the content may be offensive   This is so funny some of the content may be offensive - Page 7 Icon_minitime

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