Disclaimer: my Wife and I have spent many happy years in Bulgaria and met lots of lovely Bulgarian people during that time. We adore the culture combined with the open spaces that only Bulgaria can provide. My blogs are in no way intended to 'have a go' at either Bulgaria or the Bulgarians, it's just that when certain ‘strange’ things happen, we often say 'That could only happen in Bulgaria'!
So, please take these writings tongue in cheek, which is exactly as they are intended...
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When my wife and I first moved to Bulgaria, we were living in the capital Sofia. We’d not long been moved in when winter hit, and wow, what a winter! Minus 20 degrees was not unusual, the meter or so of snow actually froze so solid it was possible to walk on top of it ... a very odd sensation!
Anyway, that’s not on topic, so ... one snowy morning I decided to take our dog up to NDK park to let her have a good run around in the snow, this would allow my wife some time to sort things out in the new apartment.
Dog and I duly arrive in NDK park after a dodgy slither up the frozen roads of Sofia. We arrive at NDK to find the park is fortunately devoid of both other people and the usual packs of stray dogs.
Being a German Shepherd, our dog is extremely particular where she does her toilet (any German Shepherd owners will sympathize with that comment, non GSD owners, buy one and see!), and I often spend an age, waiting for her to find just the right shrub to burrow in!
Finally settled on an appropriate spot she squats and does her stuff. At this point I hear a fairly quiet “psssssst”. I look around, see nothing so dismiss it.
“Pssssst” again. This time more insistent. Again, I see nothing!
“Pppppssssssstttttttttttt!”, quite aggressively.
This time I see a middle-aged, quite dark skinned lady standing in what appears to be the middle of a bush. She asks me in perfect English what ‘service’ she could provide to me.
“Ne razbiram” says I “As sum Frantsusin” (“I don’t understand, I’m French”). Without so much as a pause for breath she then asks me in perfect
French what ‘service’ she could provide to me! Even worse, she then continues in a perfect ‘gutter-French’ and graphically explains that she can provide me the best **** job of my life for a decent leva-price!
I decide to extract myself from the situation as quickly as possible.
“I’m not interested, I’m married” says I.
“No problem, so am I” says she.
“I’ve got my dog with me it’s not possible” says I.
“No problem” says she, “the dog can watch for free”!
At this point I run like hell, calling for the dog and hoping to goodness she had finished her ‘business’ and could catch me up!
Watch this space for ‘The Prostitutes Part 2...